No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
