Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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