Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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