Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
