After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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