I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
