yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
