dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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