Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
