This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
