I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
