Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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