I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
