new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
