I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
