i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize