toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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