Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
