you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize