You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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