sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
