honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
