remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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