I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
love makes seman taste better
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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