So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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