How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
