Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
