Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
