anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
