Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
