some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
