Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
