Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
