idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
