why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
