Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
