weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
