remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
