A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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