apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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