White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
