Soap is not a condiment
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
