We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
