yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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