Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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