8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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