after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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