I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
