I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize