I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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