As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
