Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
