I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
