I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize