Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
