let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
