Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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